It’s downstairs right now. The handbag.

By downstairs, I mean in Yves St Laurent. I’m in the Kris Lounge a floor above it, killing five hours at Changi Airport.

Should I get it?

I work hard. God I work hard. But I have big mortgages to show for all that hard work. So big. And I need to pay them off so I don’t have to work so hard.

Of course I have just come off two weeks working hard to simplify my mind, which should have an immediate and direct correlation to my life – a life which doesn’t need another handbag in it.

Right Jill?

I read a fascinating piece of non-news recently centred around a piece of research that identified the top ten items that give women a ‘buzz’ when purchasing.

Some basket case paid 12,000 pounds for this.

Handbags, of course, were the winner on the day. Because handbags are basically the crack cocaine of the fashion world. You buy your first good one and you’re addicted forever.

Second on the list was shoes.

For fucks sake, they didn’t need to pay a researcher to tell us Daily Mail readers this.

The one thing that I thought was vaguely interesting is that underwear is down the list at number eight… but it was the winner of the most spontaneous purchase award if there is such an award to be given. I thought that was just me, but it turns out I’m as common as synthetic lace.

I’m giving myself an award right now. I’ve been in the Singapore Airlines lounge for two hours already and I haven’t been up to the bar. See how I’m simplifying my life already?

Or maybe I’m just making room for the bag.

SHELL I?