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  • 4. You can’t come in here sir

    It’s always been one of my favourite theories  and I have been known to use it in my work often: if you want someone to want something badly, tell them they can’t have it. Playing hard to get isn’t a new trick of course. There are many self help books written on the art of…

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  • 3. Heaven smells like red mandarin, petit grain and grapefruit

    It could well be that I died on the flight over. Or perhaps I was taken at some point during the swift Di and dodi-esque silver Mercedes transfer, incinerated in a fire ball with no paparazzi to record the tragedy. I am suspecting this because I am presenting padding around a room that can only…

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  • 2. 2a or not 2a?

    One of the things that defines those of us in the Secret Royal family is sometimes forgetting to care about things that are apparently very important. Like when you should be at the airport and the purpose of a boarding pass. I do care, I really do, or at least I will when I get…

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  • 1. A new princess for the royal family

    Stuart had great sex with a man who loved him unconditionally. Himself. The result of this beautiful exchange was a small jar of sea monkeys, who, once their crowns fell off in the high tec spinning device became perfect genetic material to make two friends of the same sex very happy mammas. The sea monkeys…

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