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  • 148. The middle of the middle

    148. The middle of the middle

    There’s a particular kind of humility that comes from being assigned seat 28E. The middle. The mathematical centre of other people’s discomfort, for thirteen hours, from Los Angeles to Aotearoa. To my right: a woman whose body had simply outgrown the architecture around it (and the bones buried within it). Her flesh pressed warmly against…

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  • 2. 2a or not 2a?

    One of the things that defines those of us in the Secret Royal family is sometimes forgetting to care about things that are apparently very important. Like when you should be at the airport and the purpose of a boarding pass. I do care, I really do, or at least I will when I get…

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  • 1. A new princess for the royal family

    Stuart had great sex with a man who loved him unconditionally. Himself. The result of this beautiful exchange was a small jar of sea monkeys, who, once their crowns fell off in the high tec spinning device became perfect genetic material to make two friends of the same sex very happy mammas. The sea monkeys…

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