Secret Royalty On Tour

Travelling to the best of me, all over the world.

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  • 148. The middle of the middle

    148. The middle of the middle

    There’s a particular kind of humility that comes from being assigned seat 28E. The middle. The mathematical centre of other people’s discomfort, for thirteen hours, from Los Angeles to Aotearoa. To my right: a woman whose body had simply outgrown the architecture around it (and the bones buried within it). Her flesh pressed warmly against…

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  • 40. Hate flying. Love flying.

    Here I am at 30 000 feet, looking at my soft white navel again. I have drunk perhaps half a bottle of champagne. I have dissolved the crumbs of maybe three quarters of a Lorazipan under my tongue. The cut of the little white pill at the kitchen bar of Malaysia Airline’s Emerald Lounge wasn’t…

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    37. Upside down logic

    If you buy shoes in the Northern Hemisphere, is the  best place for them above your head?

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    36. Relief all round

    The boys were all pretty happy to see me home safely. They were at the airport at midnight; Cody vaulted the barriers everyone was standing so neatly behind and threw his arms around me . I think there were a couple of hundred people who enjoyed the reunion. I am happy to have taught my…

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    35. Altered reality

    We are holed up in the transit area in KL.   Half way through our journey home, we are also between time zones, as is everyone else. We had muesli for dinner; I guess we’ll have dinner for breakfast.  Heading to the lift, on the way to the lounge, a British man said Good Morning to…

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    34. The golden light

    I saw her two more times, Stuart thrice.  Each time was a little easier, a little less unspoken stranger danger flying round the room. We leave Orla with the golden light of parental love all around her and can confirm with surety she is a blessed little girl.  But let’s not deny this one: in…

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    33. There always has to be a last breakfast

    Nervous flyer.  Better not be the last fucking supper as well. I’ve got stories to write on the plane….

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Argentina. Australia. Bali. China. Colombia. France. Hong Kong. Laos. London to Meet the Princess. New Zealand. Sri Lanka. Singapore. Tahiti. The Seven Day Fast. United Kingdom. USA.